Name Osiris
Gender Not applicable
Age unknown, but still fairly young
Introduced In "Insert The Best Of Both Worlds Here"

Osiris is a member of the Pro-Cliché and Mary-Sue Protection Society and a sentient computer program inhabiting Neb's body.



As a sentient program, Osiris has virtually no personality. Either Deraj or Eolhc programs him with commands and he carries them out with no emotion or consideration. When he 'thinks' his mental processes are limited to observations, problems, commands and solutions.

Osiris also rarely talks, whenever he says anything it is usually limited to operation or stratedgic information he is relaying to an ally.

There have been rare occasions however when Osiris recieves extensive damage or repeated blows to the head when that causes him to resume talking like its bodies previous occupant. It is unknown whether this is just a software glitch or if there is a tiny part of Neb that isn't quite dead yet.


Since Osiris inhabits the body of the now-deceased Neb, they both share the same basic look, though Osriris has had several modifications made to his appearance. He still wears the exclusively-leather outfit of Neb, but the clothing has deteriorated and is now ratty and threatbare. His eyes have been replaced by cameras, over which he wears Neb's pair of shades with one broken lens. But by far, the most disturbing aspect of Osiris' appearance is the fact that his mouth has been sewn shut. In order to communicate verbally, Oriris speaks in a flat, robotic monotone from a speaker mounted on a collar around his neck. In Version 1.0 Neb's missing arm had been replaced by a flamethrower with a combination minigun/rocket launcher attatched to the shoulder.


After Deraj and Eolhc stole Neb's body from its resting place, they outfitted it with its mechanical components and somehow uploaded the Osiris program into Neb's brain, which now controls his body. Neb's first field test occured in the Metroid fandom, where he effortlessly annililated a force of Space Pirates guarding a mine. He was then sent into combat against a team consisting of Ben, Drake, Tyler and Shirley. After the four got over their inital shock at seeing Neb back from the dead, they joined forces against the necromatic cyborg. They were quickly caught off-guard by Osiris considerable power, however, and were kept on the defensive for the majority of their battle. During the battle, Ben managed to unleash Death Metal Bahamut, but unfourtnately the weapon was unable to remain transformed long enough to defeat Osiris completely. Instead, Tyler exploited a chink in Osiris' armor and managed to expose much of his circutry. Ben accidentally managed to incapacitate Osiris with his "Coffeemaker" attack and short-circuting him. Osiris was quickly rescued however, by Sirahc, who incapaitated Ben and the rest and retrieved Osiris' body, already planning how to upgrade him and remove any existing flaws...

When Jared was under the influence of the Sue Storm device, he was forced to fight a simulation of an Osiris model that had been upgraded to version 2.0, although its fighting style had been modified to be closer to that of the Super-Sue, and Jared had been given the hynotic suggestion that he was Drake. Thus the fight was slightly skewed.

Officially, Osiris 2.0 debuted after Sirahc rapidly reconstructed him in order to fight Adrian. Adrian managed to beat Osiris by booting him in the head, taking off his mechanical arm and igniting his internal supply of napalm. Despite the severe damage, Osiris still tried to keep fighting, despite the fact most of his weapon systems had malfunctioned or been taken offline. The final blow came when Captain Crunch of the Little Plastic Green Beret detonated a C4 charge on top of a memory port on the back of its head.

Osiris 3.0 debuted on a mission to the Arkham Assylum fandom, where the unit was assigned on a mission to retrieve the Sue Storm device. However, he was ambused by a group of Sues, and in his ill-maintained state he was easily defeated by the Sues and later Chloe.

The much-battered Osiris resurfaced in an unnamed fandom after Ben had just Prohibited and deported a Stu. Neb's personality appeared to have regained control despite Deraj's programming, and he was deadset on exacting retribution against Ben. At the last minute, Ben was saved by Raven, and the Stu promised that he would permanently kill Osiris as part of his campaign to hunt down and destroy all of Deraj’s technology and inventions.

Weapons and Abilites[]

Osiris lacks any of the powers of Neb, but retains his super-human strength, which has been agumentated now that he's a cyborg. In Version 1.0, Osiris was equipped with cameras for eyes, a flamethrower in place of his missing right arm, a combination minigun/rocket launcher attatched to his mechanical right arm and a high-powered firearm in his left hand which can shoot armor peircing bullets. He also had a built-in cloaking device that renders him nearly invisible to the naked eye (although people with keen eyesight can spot him by tracking the ripples of light that form around his body, from a distance however this is nearly impossible). His computerized brain also has several sophisticated programs built in, which allow him to manipulate his organic body like a puppet, and serve various other functions, although there have been indicators that one side of Osiris' mind isn't as dead as everyone would like...

Version 2.0 is completly waterproof, and the minigun has been replaced by a particle cannon. The napalm launcher can also change itself to and from a fully functional mechanical hand.

Version 3.0 featured an ability for Osiris' mechanical and organic halfs to seperate. The human half retains Neb's super-strength, the finger pistol, the grapnel wrist and the ballistic missile launcher. The mechanical half forms into a turret which retains the particle cannon and napalm launcher. The human half does not possess a right arm or armor of any kind during this method of attack, making him more vulnerable to weapons fire.

Osiris also seems to have a program engrained into his mind that makes protecting Deraj his highest priority.