Little Plastic Green Beret
Name Little Plastic Green Beret
Type (technical or magic) Technical
User Jared
Introduced In "Insert The Best Of Both Worlds Here"

The Little Plastic Marine Corps (formerly Little Plastic Green Beret) are a group of miniature soilders used by Jared for recon.


The Little Plastic Green Beret (or LPGB for short) started out as toy army men given to Jared during the Christmas party by his secret santa, although he still does not know who gave them to him. Jared outfitted the toys with motorservers in their limbs, computer brains, and fully working weaponry and vehicles so that he could use them for recon missions in fandoms. Although they have been known to go into combat, they are predictably worthless when they do so. Most of the LPGB do not have names, with the exception of the handpicked officers Jared has created for micro-managing purposes; most of them have names that form puns when combined with their rank. Although for the most part they follow orders, they have been known to slip outside of Jared's control occasionally. The LPGB can be turned off remotely by a red button embedded into the wall of Jared's lab. The LPGB do not use conventional vision; instead, they see by broadcast sonic emissions using sonar beacons in their head. This can be overpowered by stronger sonic emissions to scramble their vision. Multiple LPGB soldiers can merge their fields of vision to generate an accurate 3D map of the room. This map can be called up by the computer installed in Chevila's dashboard.

Due to a mishap involving incorrect passwords, the LPGB firmly believes Charis and Karissa are Soviet spies.

It is hard to tell exactly what era of military history the LPGB are based on, as they exhibit traits from soldiers from WWII, Vietnam and the Cold War. They have also occasionally been seen using modern day weapons (such as predator drones). Since the introduction of the Little Plastic Spetsnaz however, they have become extremely paranoid about communist forces infiltrating the Library.

Anti-Shirley Special Engagement Troopers (A.S.S.E.T.)[]

The Little Plastic Green Beret officers all have puns for names, not to mention they are walking military clichés; this makes then a prime food source for Shirley the Cliché Stick. To combat this, the LPGB has a special infantry of glue troopers, equipped with heavy duty arms loaded with rounds of wood glue as well as multiple other experimental weapons; the glue rounds do not actually harm Shirley, but can slow her down or immobilize her long enough for the LPGB and A.S.S.E.T. forces to retreat back to the safety of Jared's lab. Outside of Jared's knowledge, however, the LPGB have numerous weapons in development that they plan on using against the cliche stick; most of these do little more than make Shirley extremely ticked off however.

Little Plastic Marine Corps[]

Following a fatal software glitch, the LPGB went wild and began terrorizing the Library. They were unable to be stopped and Jared was eventually forced to destroy them. However, their personalities were able to be salvaged and put into new bodies. The difference in these new bodies is that they were built by Charis, whose greater experience makes them much stronger and faster.

The LPMC also use modern weaponry, as opposed to the LPGB's mostly Cold War era weapons. Unlike their bodies Jared still designs their weaponry by taking blueprints of real world weapons and simply reducing the scale of the parts.

Thier first official deployment was to the CoD5/Nazi Zombies fandom, where they captured a Nazi artillery depot.


The LPMC has access to numerous vehicles Jared has built for them, such as

  • 12 Troop Transport Trucks
  • 16 Apache Helicopters
  • 5 Blackhawk Helicopters
  • A B1 bomber (a gift from Doug)
  • 6 Sherman tanks
  • 1 aircraft carrier
  • 1 short-lived aircraft carrier carrier
  • 1 Predator Drone
  • 3 Cobra helicopters

Current LPMC officers[]

  • General Idea
  • Captain Crunch
  • Commander Follower
  • Colonel O'Korn
  • Major Detail
  • Private Property (killed in action)
  • Major Industry (formerly Private Industry)
  • Plastic Surgeon (the LPGB's chief medical officer)
  • Major Pain (A.S.S.E.T. member)
  • General Incharge (leader of the secret Anti-Shirley Experimental Weapon Research and Design Station)