Name Jared
Gender Male
Age 20
Introduced In "Insert Clever Shapeshifting Wordplay Here"

Jared is an agent of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society.



Jared is about 5'6", with flat brown hair and a moderate build. When Jared was still a techie he always wore a lab coat, but when he became an agent he decided to go with the typical jeans and t-shirt look. While on missions he also wears a sling on his back used to carry his Boomhammer, his weapon of choice.


"Historically speaking, Plan A never works. It's my personal philosophy to never use it until Plans B & C have already failed." -Jared

Jared is a bit of an oddball and seems to go through life in his own little world. He is very easy going and likes to have a good laugh, a trait displayed through clever wordplay and practical jokes towards his fellow agents. Chloe, his partner, doesn't find him very amusing at all, and tends to shoot him an eye roll every time he cracks a joke.

Jared drives a modified 1986 Chevy S-10 pickup truck which he has named "Chevila". He is almost always found in his tech lab working on it during his spare time; he was even once caught fantasizing he was driving in the Indianapolis 500 in a heated race with Jeff Gordon. He denies that it ever happened however.

Jared appears to love classic country music. Chevila's AM radio is always tuned to some country station, much to the dislike of his partner, who tends to lean towards heavy metal.


The Cassandra Crusades (Season 1)[]

Jared was once a society techie. He never liked his job, but could never pass the exam to become a full agent. In his first encounter with a Sue Jared and his partner were on a field test in the Transformers G1 fandom to test a device with the power to implement people or things into a fandom as canon, his truck being the test subject. Their arrival in the fandom, by some coincidence, coincided with the arrival of a French Mary-Sue named Cassandra. Cassandra almost immediately began to bend the characters of the fandom, most notably Optimus Prime, to her will, convincing them that she was the saviour of humanity and that Jared and Chloe were attacking her. Fortunately, Jared's cannonization deviced worked and Jared's truck became a Transformer who defended them against Optimus Prime and Cassandra. That combined with Ben's arrival gave the techies an upper hand and allowed to escape alive.

Jared and Chloe met up with Cassandra again in the Dresden Files fandom. Jared surprised the Sue with recently learned earth magic, but even with that, Cassandra still managed to crack several of Jared's ribs and nearly strangle him to death in the fight.

Jared and Doug pursued Cassandra into the Metroid fandom, only to encounter Deraj instead. The two nearly defeated Deraj before other PCMSPS agents came to Deraj's aid and drove him back into the metroid hatchery. It was there that Deraj managed to capture and defeat Jared. Deraj took Jared back to his lab to be used as a test subject for the sue storm device.

The Library Invasion[]

When Jared was rescued his mind had been severly but temporarily altered, and Jared was forced to leave the society until he felt that he had sufficiantly recovered. This event quite fortunatly made sure he was outside of the Library before Willowe's invasion.

Season 2[]

Shortly after his agent status was reactivated, Jared was one of the agents called on to engage the powerful Sovereign Death in battle. Jared managed to take down Death with a blow from his model II Boomhammer, but Death got back up as if Jared had never actually hit him and wound up stealing his hammer. As a last resort, Jared tried "Plan A" to take Death out, which involved ramming him with Chevila. Death used Jared's own weapon to total the vehicle and Jared was taken out of the fight soon afterwords.

Jared's first official mission after his return was to the blacklisted Godzilla fandom, where he confronted three canon super villians with the aid of Tyler, Karissa and Rhia. He was quickly taken out of the fight by the absorbing man and was forced to take a week off of active duty to recooperate.

His next mission to him to the Arkahm Asylum fandom where he confronted Deraj, who was attempting to recover his stolen device. The two fought until both were forced to retreat.

Weapons and Abilites[]


Main article: Boomhammer

The Boomhammer is a sledgehammer made up of solidified sound waves which Jared carries in a sling on his back. The hammer is capable of releasing a powerful burst of sound whenever it makes contact, generating a resounding "BOOM". The hammer is powered by storing ambient sound from its enviroment, though it's energy is easily depleted and requires time to recharge. Extreame heat has been shown to melt the hammer, but if allowed to cool it will eventually collect enough ambient noise to reform itself, albeit in a weakened state. The hammer has safety features installed that prevent it from causing critical injury to living beings, but when used on non-living things the safety features do not engage and the hammer becomes far more powerful.

As of Season Two, Jared has a new Boomhammer. It functions like the old one, but features the ability to fire weak sonic projectiles.


Main article: Chevila

Chevila is Jared's truck and he insists it's female, citing the shape of it's--her headlights as proof. Chevila's usefulness depends on the fandom it's in, as Jared has installed a device that emits a form of Sue-energy, making the truck a canon part of the fandom. Upon returning to the Library however, the truck will revert back into it's natural state. Jared believes this is because it needs to constantly draw form from the fandom it's in in order to stay canon. The truck is also equipped with a plothole generator, but because Chevila is an older truck it takes 10 minutes to recharge after each use. As of season two the truck was totalled and is currently being rebuilt.

Earth Magic[]

Sometime in between "Insert Clever Shapeshifting Wordplay Here" and "Insert Pseudo Latin Interjections Here", Jared learned how to use earth magic. Jared employs it by shouting a word relating to the desired effect such as "Tremor" or "Epicenter" and sending waves of energy through the ground. Beyond aiming the waves however, Jared does not seem to have very much control over the behaviour of the magic nor does he care to. He believes the best way to use the earth magic is to point it in the right direction and simply let it blow up under his target or throw it off balance. Whenever he tries to do something fancy like vertical mini earthquakes he often causes unintended collateral damage to the area around him. This magic is not unlimited however, if he throws more magic then his body can take he will become physically weak, if he continues to throw magic after this point he will pass out. This has only happened once, standing on lush, fertile soil will rapidally regenerate his power.

Little Plastic Green Beret[]

Main article: Little Plastic Green Beret

The LPGB is Jared's personal army, they are plastic soilders built using toy army men Jared recieved anonymously for the Society's secret Santa. Officially, Jared built the LPGB to gather survalince in the fandoms he enters. This doesn't explain why he has also designed fully functional weapons and vehicles for them however. Leading some to believe he had an underlying motive for doing so.


  • Jared is the author of a pocket fandom that he uses to perform delicate experiments in.
  • Jared and Ben appear to be close friends. Ben managed recognize Jared just from a video feed when he saved him from Cassandra. Jared and Ben also share a similar sense of humor, displayed by Ben dropping several jokes about Jared taking Chloe on a "date" in the middle of a battlefield.
  • Jared often tries to speak in different accents, however none of them sound like they should.
  • Jared will only go to Valerie for severe and life threatening injuries. For anything less than that he uses the LPGB's medical officer Plastic Surgeon. He says this is because if he went to Valerie it would severly damage the LPGB's morale.
  • Jared's theme song is "Pickup Man" By Joe Diffie.
Agents of the ACMSES
Leaders HarrietMichaelTash
Department Heads AdrianCharisDaveValerie Shockley
Current Agents AimeeAkai MinamiAlice WoodAster SeleneAvakBenChloeClaire UpwardCristoph AsahinaCrystellia 'Chrys'DanielleDrake DragonsoulGarethInaraIngrid NunnJames 'Jamie' CoulthardJaredJessJoeJohnKarissaKyle GriswoldLily AdamsonLouiseMarcus PateMiriku WassonMizuhoMonikaOssaPeteRedRhiannon 'Rhia'RobertStacey/EzraStephenTheresa 'Terrie' BridgesTomTyler KahnWillie
Retired Agents BethBlakeCamilleDouglas KreigDoyleEmmaKateLaurenRiaSumire
Non-Agents Emily SmithPhoenixia