Name Ben
Gender Male
Age Late teens
Introduced In "Insert Apocalyptic Philosophical Title Here"

Ben is an agent of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society.



"I've heard the real world. It's got nothing on Megadeth." -Ben, on being asked why he never takes off his headphones and "listens to the real world".

Ben is fairly tall at 6'1", has hazel eyes and short brown hair so curly many of his friends refer to it as the 'Mini-Fro'. He also sports a neat, flat goatee. He is rather broad shouldered, but still more than a little thin, to the point of skinnyness.

He was originally dressed in a plain white T-shirt, worn blue jeans, rounded rectangular glasses, and a pair of earbuds, but recently he added a thin, cheap black hoodie to his ensemble and traded his worn blue jeans in for a pair of baggy, black cargo ones. He also replaced his earbuds with a pair of larger, DJ-style over-ear headphones which he always wears. The headphones are one of the two things Ben is virtually never seen without (the other being Shirley). He even wears the headphones to bed, claiming that Dethklok's "Crush my Battle Opponent's Balls" is the best lullaby one could hope for.

After his first encounter with Neb, Ben has taken to keeping his Plothole Generator in a handmade holster at his right hip so he can make a quick getaway when nessecary. (He keeps his flask of Firebrand Whiskey at his left hip.)


"I don't pay attention. It costs too much and besides, I'm broke..." -Ben

Ben is one of the more laid-back members of the Society, always looking for humor in a situation and never hesitating to smile or laugh. He has a totally off-the-wall (some consider it obnoxious) sense of humor that he shares with his best friend Jared.

Ben is somewhat of an odd duck, even in terms of the Society, as his muse takes the form of a highly violent 3-foot high stick of polished wood named Shirley. It is her job to correct Ben whenever he does or says anything stupid, which, when considering his personality, is often. Unfortunately for Ben, any form of correction coming from Shirley is sure to be accompanied by massive amounts of pain. And screaming. Lots of screaming.

Ben definitely has a devil-may-care attitude, often doing the most random, bizarre and pointless things just for the sake of doing them. This was evidenced during his early days in the Society, when he either forgot or refused to use any gadgets, preferring instead to rely on his wits, bizarre powers, and occasionally Shirley to get him through his missions in one piece. He didn't even hesitate to turn tail and run when things got ugly. After his first fateful encounter with Neb, his Pro-Cliché and Mary-Sue Protection Society counterpart, however, he realized that not everything was a game and started to take his tasks a little more seriously, though he remains as much of a screwball as ever off the clock.

One of Ben's biggest flaws is that he doesn't fully think things through and will charge head-long into a situation without considering the consequences. He also tends to take things at face value as well, which can make him easy to manipualte.

Ben is addicted to iced tea, displayed by the fact that he is never without a flask of the stuff which he has dubbed 'Firebrand Whiskey'. The iced tea he drinks, however is so heavily saturated with sugar that one gulp is enough to drive most people to hyperactivity, though Ben and Doug are seemingly immune to its effects.

Ben is borderline obsessed with Heavy Metal, represented by a pair of headphones that he is always wearing or has around his neck, blasting the stuff at a level which is most definately unhealthy for his ears. Most times when he's not off on a mission or fleeing for his life from Shirley, he can be found in a not-so-quiet corner of the Library, rocking out on his guitar.

He is currently in a relationship with Lily Adamson.


Litttle is known about Ben, prior to his entry to the Society, except that he first met Shirley sometime during this period and was mentored by Fred in the ways of Crack.

The Bella Saga (Season 1)[]

Bella (now Lily) was Ben's biggest enemy when he first joined the Society. Early on, he clashed with her in The World Ends With You, Custom Robo, Arena, and Dragon Drive. During their final battle in the Buso Renkin fandom, Ben finally managed to defeat his arch-enemy, but during the battle the Sue and Society Agent realized that they had feelings for each other. Unwilling to let Bella be captured and incarcerated by the Society, Ben hid Bella away secretly in a small pocket-fandom he created, telling Tash he had killed the Sue in order to make the Society stop searching for her, leaving only Aster knowing the truth about them.

Earlier, while on vacation, Ben was attacked by Neb, and was very nearly killed, though he was rescued by Tyler and Drake. Neb then tried to kidnap Ben and Shirley's daughter, though he was thwarted by the two with the help of Tyler.

Later, Neb kidnapped Bella and ordered Ben to follow the orders of a traitor he planted in the Society. But when a burglary went sour, both Ben and Repiv, the traitor, barely managed to escape with their lives. Repiv unwittingly led Ben to the Protection Society's hideout, where he managed to rescue Bella. While he was there, however, he encountered one of his old characters named Asasca. Asasca was creating a device for the Protection Society and Sues that would render any actions of theirs in a fandom permanent. When a strike force from the Elimination Society tracked Ben down, a battle erupted betwen the Protection and Elimination Societies, during which Ben finally managed to kill Neb. Upon their return to the Library Arcanium, it was revealed that Neb's assaults on Ben were all a part of a scheme by Asasca to unlock his true potential. After a brief debate, Bella was Permanently Prohibited and allowed to remain in the Library with Ben.

Sometime afterwards, Ben and Jared traveled to the Elite Beat Agents fandom to settle a minor dispute, but were confronted by Two-Step Hip Hop Disco Polka Rap Breakdance Hula the Fourth, a dancing Stu. Much to their surprise, even Ben's wild dance techniques were no match for his, and they were forced to retreat. Once receiving some so-called "training" from Fred, however, they were able to defeat Hula with the Persona of Crack's help.

The Library Invasion[]

During the Sue takeover of the Library, Ben fled to the Real World with the rest of the Society. However, his lack of strength or fighting skills of any sort in the real world meant he was next to useless during the crisis, something which endlessly troubles him.

Project Warpath (Season 2)[]

After learning that a Stu had invaded the Metalocalypse fandom, Ben flew into a rage and charged into the fandom fully intending to kill the Stu as he worshiped Dethklok. Ben came very close to killing Justin Cloudbreeze, but his friends intervened and clamed him down...although he was punished with a month of cleaning duty.

Even while being punished, however, Ben still found time to create Project Warpath, the idea of which was to create large numbers of original characters and overwhelm the Sues with sheer force of numbers. Although reluctant, Michael gave Ben permisson to allow a single test subject into the Society, so Ben created Avak and brought him into the Library.

After several weeks of cleaning duty, Ben was finally released on a mission to the Fallout 3 fandom, where he confronted and captured (with Shirley's help) Julia Oppenhimher.

Ben is currently the guitarist of an as of yet unnamed band along with Jess, Avak, and Shirley. The three refer to the style of music they play as "Symphonic Death Metal".

Weapons and Abilites[]

To say that Ben's abilites are odd would be an understatement. Thanks to Fred, Ben is a practicioner of an unnamed fighting style that uses Crack to manifest his attacks and techniques. To date, he has displayed two powers and one ability:

Don't Mess With Nukes![]

Ben's preferred attack, this drops a thermo-nuclear warhead at whatever he is currently pointing at. Ben can easily change the size and intensity of the blast, containing it to within a few feet, or, at its strongest, nuking an entire fandom. Hiding in lead-lined refrigerators has proved an effective defence against this, however (proven by Indiana Jones in here and again by Doug).  He has also shown he can summon up to ten nukes simultaneously with no adverse affects. (Other than property damage.) Said nuke turned, strangely, into a basket of smelly fish on the mission to Rome.

My Coffeemakers Are Not Controlled by Hoover Dam Computers[]

Ben's secondary attack, usually used to escape or deter pursuers. Activated by Ben thrusting a palm towards his target, fingers curled. This summons a large floodgate, which releases a torrent of coffee, usually knocking back or stunning who or whatever is pursuing him. The coffee turned into wine in the mission to Rome.

The Fast Step[]

Unlike Ben's other two abilites, the Fast-Step is not a power but a skill. The Fast-Step is a dance move Ben developed and its primary use outside of parties is to dodge projectile attacks. Using this technique allows Ben to avoid just about anything, though he cannot move more than three feet from the same spot. The Fast-Step is also extremely exhausting, sustainable for less than a minute and requiring several minutes of rest afterwards. The Fast-Step itself defies all description, mostly because of its high speed, though Ben's friends liken it to "a full-body seizure".


Main article: Bahamut

Although Ben has a wide variety of powers, he has next to no physical strength. When required to stand and fight he uses a weapon he has named Bahamut. Bahamut is a silver SG-shaped electric guitar with the ability to fire various forms of energy depending on how it is played.

Deck Strategy[]

Ben runs a Zombie World deck focusing primarily on the aforementioned Field Spell, rapid Summoning of "Red-Eyes Zombie Dragon" and contant revival of his monsters through cards like "Zombie Master" or "Book of Life". His deck's primary weakness is a lack of high attack power, preferring instead to use speed to get his Monsters on the field quickly and keep his opponent off balance. To off-set his deck's lack of strength, he has included several Spell and Trap cards capable of destroying his opponent's monsters, rather than having to face them head on.


  • Ben is extremely easy to startle, a fact which he blames on an overdose of late night Resident Evil games and a mischevious friend at home with a large pair of cymbals.
  • Ben cannot stand the sound of styrofoam being rubbed, and cringes at the very thought of even touching the substance.
  • Though Ben is close friends with Jared, Chloe can't stand him, something which Ben finds amusing and does absolutely nothing to change.
  • Ben is Alligator Toed, meaning his feet naturally point outward at a 45 degree angle. He claims this is what makes him a fast runner.
  • Ben is far more skilled than any normal human being has a right to be at Mario Kart DS. Conversely, he is absolutely abysmal at the Wii version, something which Jared won't let him forget...
  • Ben's theme song is Poweman 5000's "Bombshell" for obvious reasons.
  • Ben has a brand of a gear on the back of his neck, marking him as an honorary Klokateer. The brand was a reward from Dethklok during his misson to Metalocalypse.
Agents of the ACMSES
Leaders HarrietMichaelTash
Department Heads AdrianCharisDaveValerie Shockley
Current Agents AimeeAkai MinamiAlice WoodAster SeleneAvakBenChloeClaire UpwardCristoph AsahinaCrystellia 'Chrys'DanielleDrake DragonsoulGarethInaraIngrid NunnJames 'Jamie' CoulthardJaredJessJoeJohnKarissaKyle GriswoldLily AdamsonLouiseMarcus PateMiriku WassonMizuhoMonikaOssaPeteRedRhiannon 'Rhia'RobertStacey/EzraStephenTheresa 'Terrie' BridgesTomTyler KahnWillie
Retired Agents BethBlakeCamilleDouglas KreigDoyleEmmaKateLaurenRiaSumire
Non-Agents Emily SmithPhoenixia