Absicus Oldspice-icus
Name Absicus Oldspice-icus
Gender Male
Age Unknown
Introduced In "Insert Dandy Talking Kendama Here"

Absicus Musclus Lithicus Hotticus Sexyicus Oldspice-icus was a level 2 Stu of unknown origins.


Absicus took the place of the main protagonist in MAR, and defeated the antagonists without using any weapons. After winning, he was crowned king of Mar Heaven (which he renamed Martopia) and built a castle made out of gold. It was complete with a plumbing system built out of cardboard tubes and a moat that he dug with a toothpick.


Absicus stood at about seven feet tall, covered in muscle, with a very square jaw. His skin was simultaneously described as being like ivory and tanned. He greatly resembled Stephen, and was believed to be the main character from the first fanfic he wrote.


He was a bit of a prick. Now he's dead.


Absicus was the target of Stephen's first mission as an Agent of the Society. Stephen was able to sneak into the castle and confronted Absicus in his throne room. For a short while, Absicus was walloping Stephen while partaking in psychological warfare, until Stephen got the upper hand using his superior skill in martial arts. After almost having his knee broken, Absicus attempted to escape, but he was killed by Nameless, the real main character of Stephen's first story.


Immensely strong and fast, with some experience in martial arts, roughly equal to yellow belt level.